Why do we doubt? God tells us all these promises in the Bible but we doubt. He tells us who we are as His children yet we doubt ourselves. I doubt myself a lot in the little things. Which then progress into the bigger ones. Being with such a close community of other Christians it’s a lot easier to doubt yourself. To doubt the worth of your ideas, prayers, thoughts, and your capability of hearing God’s voice. I am filled with the same Holy Spirit as everyone else around me. Therefore, my prayers and what I am learning or hearing are no less valuable.
During our Georgia debrief if you felt led by the Lord you were encouraged to go to the individuals in the room and pray. To practice hearing God’s voice and to share a word or verse if given by God. I wanted to do this but doubted. I asked myself “What if I hear incorrectly?” I knew in my mind I was capable because God tells me I am but, I didn’t believe in my heart. I asked God “Why do I doubt myself so much?” His response, because you do not trust Me. Talk about having your toes stepped on. I doubt myself, I doubted my prayer because I wasn’t trusting God.
He has been doing a great job pointing out the ways I doubt Him. Which is good in my growth to drawing closer to Him and who He is. It never snapped that in doubting myself I was doubting God until that moment. In ways it was the finer detail in life I could easily overlook. Those finer details are what God likes to go after to bring us closer to Him. Knowing myself more helps me know Him more as my Father.
Other than doubting myself a lot of the time I question His reasoning for doing things. At home I would question something that would happen because it seemed silly and pointless to me. My friend would come back and question me asking “So, you think God does things for no reason?” I would then go on my spill of “well no, but this doesn’t make any sense” blah blah blah. I’m doubting His purpose for what is taking place. Sometimes He’ll let you know right away. We were at a church and there wasn’t going to be any English translation for us. I have a note on my phone where I write down my general thoughts and questions I have for God. That morning I wrote down “Why have we come to a church where we can not understand anything that is being said?” Not even five minutes later I google translated that title that was being projected onto the wall. Can you guess what it was? The title was “Do You Doubt?” I sat there and laughed at myself. God answered my question with another question and His right I was doubting. Whether or not I could understand what was being said. God had us in that building with those people for a reason.
Now I am asking God to pick out the other areas in my life where I doubt. In ways I think I am good but deep down and subconsciously I doubt God. I know He will be faithful in showing me those areas.
